he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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