I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
