You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
