You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Even my vagina gasped.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize