I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
