Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize