I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
