I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
