So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize