She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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