have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize