i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
