...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
