I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
