I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
