THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
