I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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