apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
