4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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