You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
