i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
