I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
