I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
