he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize