she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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