Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
