Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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