just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
ok first of all what the fuck
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
