If that was your dad, he is hot
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize