Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
