i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
