just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
