Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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