Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
