Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
