Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
