And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
