i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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