My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
