Already got asked if we're dating
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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