PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
