i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
