Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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