Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
