you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
