I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
