Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
