She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
