May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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