bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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