He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
