I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I enjoy the company of your penis
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
