I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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