i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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