I am puke
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
