the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
