so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
