respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
