They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
