drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
